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(More customer reviews)What about Bob (Eubanks)?
October 3, 2004
BY PAIGE WISER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
THIS WEEK'S ARGUMENT: That Bob Eubanks is a pop culture god.
I admit that I requested a review copy of Bob Eubanks' new autobiography for one reason: I wanted to read the inside scoop on the dirtier episodes of "The Newlywed Game."
But now I am ashamed. As I've learned from It's in the Book, Bob! (Benbella, $24.95), one game show does not a man's career make.
I had no idea that Eubanks was instrumental in bringing the Beatles to L.A., or that he founded the first public relations firm for rock groups. He's bad-mouthed Barry Manilow, stood up to Elton John and had a mysterious falling out with Dolly Parton. By the end of the book, I pictured Eubanks as a musical Zelig.
And yet Eubanks has suffered a whopping inferiority complex. He writes, "I couldn't shake the feeling that my life's work could be capsulized as a guy who pushed young couples to answer suggestive questions about their personal lives for the price of a toaster."
In short, he hates ignorant people like me.
So I'd like to remedy the situation, and give some of you a crash course in all things Bob:
*As an L.A. deejay in the '60s, his station attracted groupies. Eubanks writes: "Dick Biondi, who came on board in 1963 to do 9 to midnight, asked me years later if I remembered a long-haired guy who was a lot older than the rest of the kids and used to sit on the steps and hold court." Eubanks didn't remember him. "'His name,' Dick told me, 'was Charlie ... Charlie Manson.'"
*Eubanks used to hang out with Sonny Bono, pre-Cher.
*Eubanks suggested to Brian Wilson's manager-father that the Beach Boys change their name. (The suggestion was ignored.)
*Eubanks guest-starred on the "Ozzie & Harriet" TV series as a bicycle shop owner. Coincidentally, the role was offered just as Ricky Nelson had a new record coming out that Ozzie wanted played on Eubanks' station.
*Eubanks swore by hair stylist Jay Sebring, who pioneered the use of hairspray on men. Sebring was later murdered with Sharon Tate by Charles Manson's gang.
*As a concert promoter, Eubanks made about $1,000 on the Beatles' first concert at the Hollywood Bowl. He'd wised up by the time the Beatles came back to town in 1966 for a concert at Dodgers Stadium. For that event, Eubanks made "a decent profit," but estimates that each of the Beatles made less than $4,000 for the gig. They stopped touring almost immediately thereafter.
*Eubanks once caught Keith Moon smuggling an underage girl backstage in a bass drum case.
*At his first meeting with Merle Haggard, the country star's cigarette ignited the crotch of Eubanks' black-and-white herringbone slacks. His leg was singed, but it didn't discourage Eubanks from going on the road with Haggard for years.
*When he auditioned for zany producer Chuck Barris, Eubanks thought that "The Newlywed Game" was "the dumbest idea for a show I'd ever heard." And those confessions of Barris' dangerous mind? "I will also say that if he was a CIA assassin, then I'm Mary Poppins."
*He was featured in Michael Moore's movie "Roger & Me," and, like many, doesn't have anything nice to say about the filmmaker. Moore interviewed Eubanks in Flint, Mich., for what he was told would be a local TV news story. Eubanks assumed the cameras were off at one point, and told two tasteless jokes. They, of course, made it into the film. Eubanks says that he swore to friends that if he ever happened upon Moore in a men's room, "I would rearrange his dentition." But he's over it now. Really.
*Eubanks was hired for Jessica Simpson's variety show, with an initial offer of $800 that he negotiated up to $7,500. His bit was cut.
That, my friends, is a full life in the entertainment industry.
You're still curious about the dirt, though, aren't you? If you persist in wanting the answer to the "Newlywed" question "Where's the strangest, most unusual place the two of you have ever made whoopee?" -- you'll find it on page 365.
For years, Eubanks told people the infamous episode (where a woman described a part of her body rather than an actual place) never happened -- until someone showed him the clip and proved him wrong. He says that he simply didn't remember it.
And who can blame him?
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